ECPI Heartwalk

Ellie and I participated in Charleston's "Heartwalk" this past weekend along with my coworkers. We had a lot of fun and there were close to five thousand participants this year. Here are some fun pictures that were taken. We had a fun group!

Genealogy? Me??

I have caught the bug. Seriously. I never thought I would be interested in family history. It isn't because I don't know how important it is. I have always known, but my parents were always doing it and I was a little jealous that all that time was being poured into (gasp) "dead people" instead of ME (their very dramatic and overly-sensitive little angel-girl!). Seriously. I was jealous of the time they spent doing family-history work! As I got old enough to get over that (~17 or so), I felt like they had already done all there was to do. Or that was the excuse I made. I have kept that excuse like a security blanket in the back of my mind.

Recently, however, there has been a change in my heart. I don't know where it stems from, but I cannot stop thinking about my ancestors! I spend hours poring over my genealogical lines and have been doodling family groups all over my scratch paper at work! It's soooooo cool! I love to read the biographies of my ancestors...particularly those who converted to the church. Their testimonies and strength give me such incentive to stay faithful. Their hardships make my life look like a complete cake-walk! Their accomplishments motivate me to do more. I don't really know if I will ever contribute to my own family history work...I hope I can figure out that part, but I have already been blessed by reading their stories!

Getting big!

Even though I got a sweet new camera as a surprise gift from my husband, I am having problems uploading photos to my computer so I am still using my cellphone camera for the shots in this post.
This school-year has started out VERY WELL for both Ellie and I!!! We committed before her 1st day to have a "daily debriefing" before homework and chores every afternoon and it has been a great success. All we do is grab a snack together and sit on the back porch away from everyone else and she tells me about her day...and occasionally I tell her about mine. Hers are generally MUCH more interesting than mine. I LOVE this time with her and she seems to love it too! This year she is taking piano at school instead of playing flute in the band and she really loves it. They have the technology that allows the teacher to "plug into" any piano in the room and listen to each student individually. Ellie's band background has been very helpful and she is progressing well. I am so proud of my little biscuit!

Here is Walter and Eleanor together. I took about 25 shots and this is the only one that wasn't blurred by their constant motion. Walter is big, but he is definitely still a puppy!! He is a great dog. Very snuggly, sweet, and loyal. His sister is more of a jumper and drooler so I feel like we got the pick of the litter (I am biased, of course). Here is a shot of our fireplace at the new house...ummm....I am not finished decorating...note the lack of window treatments, but I realize that I had no new pictures of our new place on my blog!
My 7th grader! She just seems so much more grown-up this year...and we are all happier because of it! :)

Insufficiency and Faith

Rachel and I and her twins back at Christmas time.

T gave a great talk on the atonement this past Sunday. It's really had me thinking this week. One of her main points was that many LDS women suffer from feelings of inadequacy and compare themselves to others to the point that they really don't believe they are good enough for the atonement to truly apply to them. This has been one of my greatest struggles as well. I wish we wouldn't compare our weaknesses to the strengths of others!!! We should not get discouraged at our inability to save ourselves...it's a universal truth that we cannot do it! It was part of our Heavenly Father's plan from the very beginning. It is the reason we needed a Savior. To ignore our need for the Savior by attempting to perfect ourselves will only drive a wedge between us and God!

It is simple for me to spout off words of wisdom when listening to the problems of others, but I am incapable of seeing the solutions to my own problems clearly. I remind myself of the cartoon verson of Alice in Wonderland when she said, "I often give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." I cannot seem to help being emotionally connected to every decision I try to make. I ignore logic. I am plagued by fears that I refuse to give up. My pet fears. For example, I have a completely irrational fear of calling people on the phone.

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." I am not sure who said that, but I believe it. "And if ye believe these things, see that ye do them." (That was King Benjamin in the book of Mosiah) So why is it so hard to do the things that we believe? That would be workings of the father of all lies, Satan himself. He feeds us little lies and half-truths such as "you are lazy" or "you lack self-discipline" or "you aren't as good as s0-and-so" or "you can never change" or "you aren't worth it." And he has plenty of reasons to work against my family right now. For starters, Paul and I are in the process of getting all our paperwork in order so we can be sealed together. For seconders (yes, I made that word up), we are exploring the ever-so-emotionally-draining world of adoption. For thirders (that one, too), we are STILL hashing out a new visitation order with Ellie's dad. Combined with taking a major leap of faith and trying AGAIN to get Paul self-employed, I am in constant need of spiritual nourishment.


The past few months, I have been listening to my Book of Mormon on the I-pod while getting ready for work. It's made a tremendous difference in my days. Yesterday the outlet in my bathroom died so I didn't get to listen to the scriptures(or blowdry my hair, for that matter, but that's a different problem). Anyway, I had a big fight with Paul last night (don't worry, we made up) and I am certain that the two are related (neglecting my scriptures, not my hair)! My point is, what was my point? Oh yeah, I am in constant need of spiritual nourishment! And I cannot save myself. I can't and you can't. We are like small children to our Father in Heaven. And just like children, we try to "do it myself!!". We are commanded to be like a little child, but it is the asking for help and the meekness that we should strive for, not the throwing of tantrums and pouting and whining.

Doing our best really is good enough. And our best doesn't look anything like our neighbor's best. Let's all remember that and allow the Atonement of Christ to bring us peace and joy even in the simple problems of our lives!

Hold your breath and JUMP!!

So Paul finally quit his job last week to prepare to start his new business in the next couple of weeks. This makes me feel SOOOOOO nervous, but mostly excited for them! J also put in his 2 weeks notice last week. T still hasn't found a job, but we'll figure out how to make it all work. She has been putting in applications like crazy and I know it's just a matter of time!

On Saturday, the boys spent the whole day building a desk and installing recessed lighting in our garage. It's quite the man-cave now. We got a nice air-conditioner in there and T and I put down a big rug and hung some curtains to soften it up a bit. It is going to be really nice when they are all done. I promise to post some pictures soon, but I am having technical difficulties with the software for my NEW CAMERA!! That's right! I got a new camera. Paul bought it on Craig's list. It's a Canon Rebel and he is certain that it will have the power to make my photos look good. I am so excited and have taken lots of pictures, but I didn't install the software right and I am not sure what I did wrong, but it looks like it might be a week or two before I figure it out!

Hope, work, and unexpected blessings!

It really cracks me up to read through some of my old posts and remember how I felt when I wrote them. So many little things happen over the course of weeks and months that change my way of thinking.
It's a little complicated, but I think (and hope) you can keep up.
We had to move because of our getting a puppy. I was really upset about it. We hadn't found a suitable place and our dog was initially a lot of work. Well, about a week after I posted, we found a house that was just perfect for us. It is on a wooded lot in a quiet cul-de-sac. It has a big old backyard that is perfect for Ellie and the dog. It is just the right size for us and very comfy. The rent was quite reasonable and I just LOVE my new landlady.
I started to get excited.
Our friends, J&T, came to visit from out of state and we showed them our new house. They loved it. They loved it so much that they started thinking about moving to Charleston too. That's not my story to tell, but I mention it because it relates directly to my story. One thing led to another and J, the husband, found a much better job here and we invited him to stay with us so he could start right away. Meanwhile, my sister, who was going to move in with us, experienced an insanely fast whirlwind romance that led her to quit her job and move to Baltimore just after we moved in. Suddenly we had Paul's best friend living with us and my sister was gone. It was an adjustment for me. A tough adjustment. But, I coped.
A few weeks later, J's wife, T, joined him at our house and they started looking for a place of their own.
Then, this past weekend, a little talking about jobs and the future led to a bold decision. Our husbands don't want to stay at their current jobs. They want to create a better future for our families. They want to go into business for themselves. This made me nervous. We tried it before and it didn't work out. I felt doubt. I felt fear. But then...I felt fine with it. I was completely elated about it. I was feeling hope for our financial future for the first time in a long time. Now, I can actually see a light at the end of our paycheck to paycheck, double-income tunnel!
So we are all going to start sacrificing for this hope. We can't just have our husbands quit their jobs, but if T and I continue to work full-time and we all stay living together, we can make it work until they get their business up and running. So...wish us luck!

Oh...and on a sidenote, I am glad I said yes to that puppy after all. What a strange series of events!

Puppy Trials

We got a dog. My life has ended. Okay...so I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, but really this puppy has taken over my life! If I could rewind my life about a month, I would have just said "no", but for some reason, I decided to say "yes". The whole "Yes Man" theory is a pile of dogpoo. And I have seen some piles lately...all over my rugs!!

Our friends started it...We met them for a weekend and they had the sister-puppy and she was so cute and sleepy at 7 1/2 weeks old. They started showing us pictures of the siblings and Paul and I started considering it. Ellie's birthday was coming up and she's been BEGGING forever for a puppy (well all kids do that...). We thought it would be great for her to have a companion for the summer. Paul just wanted another boy in the family. blah blah blah.

• puppies are expensive




• puppies pee all the time...anywhere




• puppies have sharp little teeth and claws




• puppies cry at night




• puppies double in size within 3 weeks




• 11/12 year-old girls don't like puppy-sitting




• puppies don't like baths




• puppies like to bark




• puppies will always like your husband better than you

But none of those truths are the real problem. The problem is that we didn't check with our Apartment owner 1st. The problem is we made an emotional decision and we had to get him BEFORE someone else took OUR puppy. The problem is we are obviously insane. Our apartment is owned by someone else so even though there are TONS of dogs at our complex, our dog isn't welcome and so it was "Get rid of the dog or move". Simple. We should get rid of the dog, right? Wrong. We just didn't have the heart. Ellie was so excited and Walter was so cute! He was already crate-trained and we just spent $200 on food, toys, etc. So we are moving. Again. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I am whining now. If you don't want to read the next paragraph, I totally understand (of course, if you've made it this far, you probably noticed that this whole post is whining).

My moving...since college (12 years)

1. Christiansburg, VA to Lake Worth, Florida (for a summer job selling pest control)

2. Lake Worth Apt to different Lake Worth Apt...I forget why now...

3. Lake Worth, FL to Bridgewater, VA (to finish college, got sick, didn't finish)

4. Bridgewater, VA to Buena Vista, VA (for ex to finish college, he did)

5. Buena Vista, VA to Roanoke, VA (for job, YAY)

6. Roanoke, VA to Pearisburg, VA (divorce, BOO)

7. Pearisburg, VA to Roanoke, VA (remarriage, YAY)

8. Roanoke, VA to Daleville, VA (divorce, take 2, BOO)

9. Daleville, VA to Buena Vista, VA (back to finish college, finished, YAY)

10. Buena Vista, VA to Lexington, VA (apt. to house, YAY)

11. Lexington, VA to Summerville, SC (job for Paul, YAY!)

So this will be 12 moves in 13 years. Frankly, I am dreading it. We still haven't found a place that meets our requirements. We need a fenced-in yard and we need it to be in Ellie's middle school boundaries...that's easy, but not on our budget! :(

The friends who started it are taking Walter for the next month so we can finish out our lease. I guess they are actual angels-in-disguise. No one can stand disappointing a little girl!!

Just don't talk to me for the next 2 months. I will be grumpy. I hate moving.

This dog better be the coolest pet ever. :)

Monthiversaries

So today marked one month since I started working again...and also one month since Ellie started middle school. We are both a lot busier and thus, a lot happier! I love working, if only for the sense of security it brings.

Today was a sad one at work. My employer keeps 2 German Shepherd attack dogs in the yard (I am working in the office for a landscape and lawn-care company right now) and today one of them was hit by one of our trucks. I witnessed the last breath before she died. The saddest thing was how the remaining dog cried and moped around afterwards!

It reminded me of how things can change in the twinkling of an eye! I am so grateful for a knowledge that we will all be reunited after this life. I can't imagine not having the comfort that brings me.

This month I started a new visiting teaching route. For you not familiar, this is how the women of my church keep tabs on one another by making monthly visits to a handful of other women in our congregation. The purpose is to fellowship, teach, and serve one another. So far I have visited 4 different sisters. The fascinating thing is how different everyone is from each other. I love getting to know new people and hearing about their experiences. It's like being in someone's real-life blog!! ha ha ha...that's a little joke.

Anyway, I am about 98% sure that I haven't contributed much to their lives (yet), but I think it's made a huge difference in mine. Haven't you ever noticed how much better life feels when you are thinking of someone else for a change? It's the only thing powerful enough to bring me out of the dulldrums!

I have also been interviewing for a job at a small college here in Charleston for the last several weeks and was told yesterday that I was selected for the position...now I am just waiting for them to get approval from the head honchos and I will be switching back into a university setting. I miss interacting with college students so I am excited!

Ellie got a new flute yesterday. She is taking both Chorus and Band at the middle school, but no PE...I thought that was bizarre, but I guess the PE classes were filled up when we registered her. She loves her music and science classes the most.

It is still hot as blazes every day here in Charleston, but the mornings are starting to cool off and I never thought I could appreciate sweater weather so much as I do this year!

Sorry about this post...with my camera broken, it looks like I will be back to weird ramblings for a while!!

Ultimate Frisbee

On Saturday, the Elder's Quorum had an ultimate frisbee activity...Elle and I tagged along and I captured these cute shots. Later one of the guys left and I got to take his place...it was super fun but then my legs were all kinds of sore Sunday and Monday...I guess I am not used to all that stopping, starting, and changing direction kinds of running! Paul was just happy to start making some new friends.

rainy days and mid-afternoon munchies

So this has been our weather for the past little while! And I haven't spent much time in the kitchen for the last couple of...YEARS!! so here is what I made...salad,

Spaghetti,

and chocolate chip cookies!!!

mmmmm....yummy

Now maybe I should tackle something a little more complicated?!...Nah!

still cutting hair!

So Ellie was due for a trim and I was hoping that she would let me try out some of the new techniques that I recently learned. Alas, she was ADAMANT that I cut off only a TINY bit. She wants it all long and no layers. BORING. but it's her hair...

I took off an inch.

She read a book the whole time. Then I gave her braids.

The End.

makeover

So I gave myself a new haircut this morning. I thought about going short again and looked through one of those "short hair cuts" magazines, but decided to do something a little less drastic. Most of the styles in those magazines are completely unrealistic. They are ridiculous. There were maybe 2 styles in the whole thing that a real person could wear every day. Now, if you know me, you know I hate paying for haircuts because I am never really happy and I feel like it's a big waste of money (thank you, parental unit!). I have been cutting my own hair since high school (before that, my sisters Candi and Rachel did it). Anyway, I got online and watched a bunch of "how-to" videos on putting in long layers and I think it turned out perfectly professional looking. Sorry, I forgot to take "before" pictures this time! I also went a little crazy with the eye-shadow today. It's fun when you don't have to go to work! Can you tell I am getting bored yet??

Running: The good, the bad, and the sweaty!!

Running at sea level is wonderful...you can go really fast without even getting out of breath!! For at least a year, I have been battling running injuries and FINALLY I can go running pain free!!! It just rocks! It is awesome!! Alas, I haven't found very many good places to run from my house yet. Just big commercial roads which means a lot of concrete sidewalks! grrr...I hate concrete! It's the worst running surface! Luckily, I bought a huge bag of paper cups which I keep filled in the freezer and I have been DILIGENT about massaging my shins, knees, and heels with ice after every run. The benefit of running on main roads is that I refuse to look slow in front of all those strangers and therefore I have been keeping a good pace. Right now, I am running alone every morning, but that is a good thing because I have to get up at the crack of dawn to beat the heat and humidity here. We have had weather in the upper 90's and low 100's since I got here and the humidity is unreal! Another benefit to running at sea level...NO HILLS! That may sound like a negative to some of you hard-core athletes, but to me, it is pure running bliss!

Oh what a difference...

Above is a picture of our sunroom. I have big plans for it but right now it houses my favorite piece of furniture. My mother somehow acquired this from my Aunt Diane when I was about 5 and I laid claim to it before they moved to Tennessee. I am going to get some flowy curtains and a sisal rug and a wicker settee with fun pillows to soften it up...but not until AFTER I find a new job!!

Below is Ellie's cute bathroom. I just love the cabinet space!!

Here are all Ellie's books at the foot of her bed. I made her get rid of half her collection before we moved, but she still has plenty as you can see. At her 5th grade graduation, she won an award for "insightful comments in reading". They gave each of the kids adjectives that most described them and hers were "bookish and bouncy"! I have to agree. Right now she is reading Anne of Avonlea. It's one of my favorite series.

Here is her new bedroom. All the new stuff we got for her birthday looks even better at our new place!! And I recovered the lamps just before we left. I was going to put a cute print above the bed, but she insisted she have the pictures of Christ and the temple. I love this age! She is growing up, but still holding on to her childhood.

I am pretty excited about our new place. It makes me giggle a little. It is a lot smaller than our old place, but sooooo much nicer! Even though we still have to rent, it is a lot better when you actually like your place!

The kitchen has a great pass-through to the dining room and has a laundry room. We found a washer and dryer set for $160 on Craig's list. SWEEEEET!!!!

This is the master bath and below is the living room and dining room.

Here is Ellie a few weeks ago after I gave her a little makeover...I guess she is trying to have a staring contest with Buster. He is Sam's doggie so we had to leave them both behind and we miss them.

Painful Good-byes! SAD PANTS

Sam was the Maid of Honor over the weekend at her friend's wedding. Doesn't she just look beautiful? I am so sad that we won't be sharing a house anymore! This past year has been really fun for me. It's so nice to have sisters close by. I am also leaving my super-sweet sister-in-law, Coleen. She has been there for me through A LOT of personal drama (and such a patient listener) and I am really going to miss my brother (Jeremy) and their little boy too!! We had two fun get-togethers recently...and I forgot my camera for both of them! Also, they all help with Ellie and I am so grateful they have been there for her for pretty much her whole life!
My cute little friend, Holly came by to hang out one last time before I move. I try not to get sappy but I really hate leaving her!! She has been my sanity and my cheerleader and she is soooo funny!! Of course, she is moving on too so I would have to say "good-bye" regardless! I will miss her though!! Tomorrow is my last day of work. My boss wants to do a little "send-off" party. That will be thoroughly embarrassing. For some reason, I only like being the center of attention in certain groups...family mostly:) and other times, I find it quite uncomfortable!

The Big Birthday Week!!

Although I didn't actually get to spend time with these family members this week, I think it is cool that 4 members of our family were born the same week.
On May 26th, my brother-in-law, Evan turned 41 and my neice, Allison, turned 13.
I know these pics are terrible, but I stole them from facebook and they were all I had!!My sister Rachel also turned 36 today and my nephew, Steven, turned 15!! This pic is actually from Rachel's high school graduation...ha ha!!Happy Birthday to you all!!

New Home

I just got back from a weekend with Paul in Charleston. It was our 2-year anniversary and we spent it "house-hunting". We ended up getting a condo rather than a house, and I am so excited to decorate it! (but SOOOO not excited to go through all our stuff and pack it up) I have been spoiled in our current house because there is a ton of storage space and this new place is probably only 1/2 the size...I have LOTS to get rid of and not nearly the amount of time that I am going to need! YIKES!
Ellie is excited because our new pool looks like this:

Paul is excited because he misses us and has been anxiously awaiting us joining him!

Change is good...except when it's terrifying!

So if I am being completely honest with myself, I am terrified of this move. I don't mean to sound completely po-dunk, but I have never lived further than 2 hours away from my hometown...EVER!! Not only that, but I have always lived within 5 minutes of I-81. Whatever will I do with no soothing interstate noise to lull me to sleep at night?! And I don't think I have mentioned this before, but MY PARENTS ARE MOVING TOO!! They are going to Tennessee...a completely different state...for those of you who may be even less geographically inclined than me (and I hope, for your sake, that you are not). My little sister, Sam, who has been sharing a house with me for the past year is getting married in only 6 short weeks and she will be moving away too.
All these changes have really got me thinking about life and the meaning of things. Of course, I almost never STOP thinking about the meaning of things, but now my pontificating is slightly more focused. slightly. And what I have concluded is thus...(drum roll, please)...Change is the ESSENCE of life. It is the thing by which I measure time..."Well, after my 2nd divorce, I moved to Daleville", or "When I started dating Paul, I put on 10lbs", etc. It is the thing by which we GROW...Really, I don't need to give you an example of this...it's the ONLY sure thing to shake us out of old habits and motivate us to improve (and sometimes regress, if we fight it). So I am going to stop fearing the change and just embrace it. Maybe I will lose those 10 lbs...

Husbands and housework

Paul is already working in Charleston, SC and I am still working in Lexington, VA. I miss him. I really miss him, but...I get so much more work done!! Am I the only one who is just unable to get stuff done with my husband around?? I mean, I cook more, I clean more, I go to bed early, I run before work...I even get my "procrastinate pile" worked on (that's my pile of stuff that I have been avoiding for MONTHS). All these things that I have to work so hard to do when he is around and now it feels EASY. Perhaps I am just trying to stay busy so I won't miss him?! I think it's pretty funny! The temptation to blame him for never getting anything done just got a lot worse! Oh, this picture is from our wedding...We are celebrating 2 years this weekend so I am hopefully going down on Friday for a visit.