The Big Birthday Week!!

Although I didn't actually get to spend time with these family members this week, I think it is cool that 4 members of our family were born the same week.
On May 26th, my brother-in-law, Evan turned 41 and my neice, Allison, turned 13.
I know these pics are terrible, but I stole them from facebook and they were all I had!!My sister Rachel also turned 36 today and my nephew, Steven, turned 15!! This pic is actually from Rachel's high school graduation...ha ha!!Happy Birthday to you all!!

New Home

I just got back from a weekend with Paul in Charleston. It was our 2-year anniversary and we spent it "house-hunting". We ended up getting a condo rather than a house, and I am so excited to decorate it! (but SOOOO not excited to go through all our stuff and pack it up) I have been spoiled in our current house because there is a ton of storage space and this new place is probably only 1/2 the size...I have LOTS to get rid of and not nearly the amount of time that I am going to need! YIKES!
Ellie is excited because our new pool looks like this:

Paul is excited because he misses us and has been anxiously awaiting us joining him!

Change is good...except when it's terrifying!

So if I am being completely honest with myself, I am terrified of this move. I don't mean to sound completely po-dunk, but I have never lived further than 2 hours away from my hometown...EVER!! Not only that, but I have always lived within 5 minutes of I-81. Whatever will I do with no soothing interstate noise to lull me to sleep at night?! And I don't think I have mentioned this before, but MY PARENTS ARE MOVING TOO!! They are going to Tennessee...a completely different state...for those of you who may be even less geographically inclined than me (and I hope, for your sake, that you are not). My little sister, Sam, who has been sharing a house with me for the past year is getting married in only 6 short weeks and she will be moving away too.
All these changes have really got me thinking about life and the meaning of things. Of course, I almost never STOP thinking about the meaning of things, but now my pontificating is slightly more focused. slightly. And what I have concluded is thus...(drum roll, please)...Change is the ESSENCE of life. It is the thing by which I measure time..."Well, after my 2nd divorce, I moved to Daleville", or "When I started dating Paul, I put on 10lbs", etc. It is the thing by which we GROW...Really, I don't need to give you an example of this...it's the ONLY sure thing to shake us out of old habits and motivate us to improve (and sometimes regress, if we fight it). So I am going to stop fearing the change and just embrace it. Maybe I will lose those 10 lbs...

Husbands and housework

Paul is already working in Charleston, SC and I am still working in Lexington, VA. I miss him. I really miss him, but...I get so much more work done!! Am I the only one who is just unable to get stuff done with my husband around?? I mean, I cook more, I clean more, I go to bed early, I run before work...I even get my "procrastinate pile" worked on (that's my pile of stuff that I have been avoiding for MONTHS). All these things that I have to work so hard to do when he is around and now it feels EASY. Perhaps I am just trying to stay busy so I won't miss him?! I think it's pretty funny! The temptation to blame him for never getting anything done just got a lot worse! Oh, this picture is from our wedding...We are celebrating 2 years this weekend so I am hopefully going down on Friday for a visit.

EMPLOYED!!

So Paul got the job in Charleston, SC that he's been interviewing for the past 2 weeks. I am so proud of him. He hasn't been able to find a full-time job since moving to Virginia 2 1/2 years ago. He moved here because I was in school and we were engaged. It has been a loooong journey and while I am very grateful that I had a good job, we really wanted to move towards our goal of me being at home with Ellie...So for all of you who were praying for him and I...THANK YOU!!! We are very very sad to be leaving so many good friends AND family members in Virginia! I LOVE Virginia, but I think a new adventure is overdue for me...having a beach won't hurt the transition at all!! Charleston has always been one of Paul's favorite cities and since they have a huge port and he is in the transportation industry, it will be a great fit!

Infertility

I want a baby...not that it is anything new, but it does seem that I am not alone in my struggle. Why are so many of my friends having such a hard time?

My personal story is that I have always worried about not being able to have children...since I was 16 or so (because of some wording in a blessing that I got). When I first married, we decided not to wait and I am SOOOOOO glad because I got pregnant after only a few months trying. I was 21 and REALLY healthy at that time. After Ellie was born we waited about 6 months to try again so that there would be at least 15 months between them. We tried for 18 months and then we got divorced...not related and looking back I am SO glad I didn't get pregnant at that time since we did get divorced. Well, now Paul and I have been trying for 2 years and I am worried that my window is closing! I wanted a big family and it's hard to accept that I am simply not as young as I used to be!! I was talking to a friend last night who said that a raw vegetable diet worked for someone in our ward...that wigs me out for two reasons.

1. I could never be that disciplined.

2. Then it might be my own fault that I haven't gotten pregnant.

THAT THINKING IS SO MESSED UP!! That is the big problem for me and probably a lot of women...we feel guilt over things that we can't possibly control. Especially LDS women.

Another issue for me is-- how far I should take the fertility treatments? My husband's ex tried everything including invitro but never got pregnant. My sister Rachel went through 8 or so years of treatments and is now pregnant with twin boys. Of course now it was worth the struggle.

A wonderful couple in my ward is going to adopt. Something Paul and I definitely would consider. it's all good and it's all right, but I don't know what I want to do yet. (and it's all expensive, too!)

We have been surviving off my paycheck for a while and I think I have been putting off any kind of action until we can survive only on his...I doubt I could keep working through a pregnancy given my health history.

Anyway, just wanted to pontificate.