My dad told me recently that life isn’t really made of hills and valleys, but is more like the two rails of a railroad track. The one rail is our trials and the other rail is our blessings. There is never a time in our lives where we don’t have both rails beneath us. I have been thinking about this regarding marriage lately. That’s only natural since I am goo-goo-crazy in love these days.
What are the motivations for getting married verses staying single? I should know this one, right? I should be an expert on relationships (no one believes that, I hope). The truth is, I only know my own experiences and I can only view my new experiences through the lens of my past. People name all sorts of trials in marriage; financial problems, sexual problems, personality conflicts, religious conflicts, health problems, child issues, and so on. I have experienced all of those things. The way I see it, those are just day-to-day issues we must all deal with at some point. I think one must consider what their expectations are in marriage. If you expect that joining up with your love will be the end of all of your trials, then you will surely be disappointed. If, on the other hand, you see your spouse as someone who needs your support get through THEIR trials and who can in turn keep you company through yours, then you can expect to be satisfied with the marriage. You should treat your spouse like you would treat your best friend. The relationship should be thought of like any other family relationship. Permanent, no matter what the other person does. And last but not least, our happiness is our own responsibility. My dad gave me a quote by Samuel Johnson, “He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.”
Boom. That is simple enough.
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