suggestions anyone?

Some days you just look at yourself and you are totally disgusted with your behavior. Most days though, you look at others and are totally disgusted with their behavior. Can we say projection? I was looking at someone else in a relationship and thinking, "wow, she was so much cooler when she wasn't dating him" and then I realized that I do that thing too. That thing where you are suddenly so overcome by your relationship that you lose your coolness and it kills the relationship. Yeah, that thing. So how does one fix this sort of a problem? Seriously, I have no idea. I could use a little guidance. Has anyone else been that person and overcome it? I need to know because I really can't spare any of my coolness. I barely have enough to survive as it is and that is getting worse as I get older. I don't even speak the same language as a lot of high-schoolers these days. Really.
I like myself when I am single better than I like myself when I am in a relationship. Maybe I just need to NEVER be in a relationship again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I kill me. I just have to not realize that I am in a relationship. Nothing to lose, you know? Help!!