Seriously, I get good advice from people who love me and I just can't seem to follow it. Why am I so freakin masochistic anyway?! I wish I could take good advice. I just read a great quote that I am totally guilty of "“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”.
OK. I totally do that. Especially with Golf. What's my problem? Some times I think I am there. I mean, I had a great day yesterday. I was really on a spiritual high. Church was soooooooooo good. I was feeling completely fine. But today, not so much. "Rainy days and Mondays always bring me down".
I guess that is the problem. Or the fact that Golf just told me he may have other lunch plans with someone else. Ooh, that really burns me up. Did I mention that I am not nice!? I get mad about stuff like that. OK, technically I get hurt and then I get mad, but we don't have to talk about the getting hurt part because that is a given these days.
Yesterday my dad told me he was proud of the way I am living my life. That rocks!! I needed it too. But of course I still wonder how much of the chaos is my own fault. Like when I read that quote and saw myself. I need to take good advice. I want to take good advice. Mainly it just makes me feel guilty that I don't take the good advice. Sheesh. Seriously though, hearing the same good advice does keep it in my brain and eventually I have to follow it!! So keep it coming.
Just be patient with me. I am trying to be nicer...to myself, I mean!
Farewell to ‘The Axe Files’
1 hour ago
1 comment:
L, I just woke up and want to share with you what I remember about my dream. In it, I go to check out your blog and there's a video clip on it... of you, and (the last time I saw you, you said you wanted to go back to blonde) so in the video you had bleach blonde curly, curly hair that went down to the back of your knees. Like mermaid style hair. Anyway, in the video you were singing about getting hair extentensions. Yup. Oh, and it was a music video you made of yourself dancing in different people's living rooms. I don't know if you see any meaning in any part of the dream, I certainly don't, except maybe I wonder, did your hair appointment go ok??? :)
As far as advice, and being "not nice"... I think you're too nice! It's been less than 2 weeks and after your relationship ended, I don't think you guys have to go back to being best buddies right away... I would think that would take time.
C
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